love / me / music / thoughts / Video / Writing

Don’t think about all those things you feel…

So I’m on the bus today travelling to college and my is head full of all I have to deal with… work deadlines, study deadlines, money issues, people grating on my nerves, the day to day grind. And then this song came on my phone. I rested my rucksack on the grab rail where I was standing and leaned on it like a pillow, head on arms. I gazed out the window, listening, and let everything else float away. I was back in time, to the first time I heard it play. It was a bad night. One of many bad nights; my younger self stricken with anxiety, helpless with grief. My RL ex… he was with me through my worst times… sent it to me when I asked him to help me. I couldn’t sleep, I never slept. I said, ‘help me’, and he gave me that song. I listened for hours on repeat. Over and over, drifting on the melody and lyrics. I felt safe, surrounded by the song in the darkness of the early hours. I felt comforted, because someone cared enough to know exactly the right thing to do in that moment. I will always think of him when I hear it and how he administered musical medicine to me that night. Some people are angels. They are stars, healers, they are living breathing gifts.


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